Black Clouds On A Summers Day
by xGlowingAngelx
Summary: A 2 Parter. Sally and Alf's thoughts after he ran Pippa over. ALF'S P.O.V FINALLY UP! Now complete.
1. Chapter 1

**Sally.**

**-**

_It's been 20 years since I first met him. 20 years. I can still recall that day fresh in my mind. I remember being afraid of him at first. He was old, and he had a face that looked as though it might crack had he cracked a smile. I was shaking with nerves as he introduced himself to me, but as soon as he reached out his hand and clasped my own in his, I knew I had no problems. I knew he was nobody to be afraid of. _

_-_

_I hadn't imagined to still be close to him all these years later. In fact, back then, I wasn't even sure we'd still be here 20 years later. And yet here I am, running the caravan park I spent my life running around in. Back in the house my childhood memories were all tucked inside. Back where I belonged. It was like a fairytale really. I have 3 children I love more than anything in the world and a group of friends around me that I'd die for. He's one of them. Through all these years, he's been my rock. He's there when I'm celebrating, he's there when all I need is a cuddle and some reassurance. He's seen me at my best and he's seen me at my worse. My best been times like the day I got married, or the day I took Ric and Cassie in and built a family. My worst times like the day I lost the man I loved. Days like today. _

_-_

_I know, deep down, that it was an accident. I know that there's no way in the world he would allow something like this to happen. And I know that, had he known it would happen, he'd have done everything in his power to prevent it. But that doesn't take away from the fact that it _did _happen. It doesn't change the fact that he made it happen. It also doesn't change the fact that I witnessed it happening. Right in front of me. I watched the man I trusted with my life as he almost caused the loss of the most important person in my world. _

_-_

_I hadn't set out that morning knowing what lay ahead that day. Instead, I'd gone about my usual routine. Certain I had nothing to fear. Certain he wouldn't do anything to harm us. Certain he wouldn't let me down. _

_I left the Diner still smiling as I heard him chat to my little girl. I heard their laughter echo from feet away, and I foolishly took that as a sign. A sign that told me it was OK. I didn't have to worry. I didn't need to fear anything. _

_-_

_I wasn't sure if I'd been seeing things at first. I mean, it wasn't just the fact that he was actually driving a car - something he wasn't allowed and swore to me he wouldn't do - It was also the fact that he was driving the car that was about to put my daughters life in danger. _

_I watched helplessly as my baby dropped her teddy on the floor. I began running as I saw the lights to the car illuminate - a sure sign it was about to reverse. I didn't reach them in time to stop it. And I watched in horror, the sound of the thud that would stay with me for the rest of my life. The sound of my whole world falling apart. _

_-_

_I rushed over, dropping the bags I had with me. Right now, I didn't care about anything. My purse and keys could be replaced. My babies life may not be able to. I collapsed beside her, unsure of whether I'd made that happen or whether it had happened on instinct. I heard muffles as people gasped in horror. I hard someone yell for an ambulance. But I wasn't listening properly. My whole world was there. Possibly about to be snatched away from me. _

_-_

_The hospital was crowded. It was the first time I realised how many people knew and loved her. Ric, Cassie, Martha, Leah, Dan and many more. All crowded in the corridors, looks of gloom shadowing their faces. _

_I heard the sound of footsteps edging towards us. I didn't need to glance up to know who it was. I felt anger seep through me as I snapped my head up. I listened as he spat some pathetic attempt at an excuse. I was sure I was hearing things. I mean, was he really standing in front of me and trying to make _excuses _for what he'd done? _

_I asked him bitterly why he'd done it. Why had he let something like this happen? Why was he trying to justify an action that was tearing me apart, knowing how much it hurt? _

_He said he hadn't seen her, as if that was enough to excuse the fact that he'd broken the promise he'd made in the first place. The promise he'd made and kept for over 20 years. Until now. _

_I was painfully aware of all eyes burned onto us as I stood up and screamed at him in a fit of rage. Wondering how the hell something like this had happened. How he'd let something like this happen. I could feel as Ric's arms held onto me, as if to stop me doing something I might regret. Something much like he'd done. I took a step back, feeling a small dose of relief at finally letting out the anger I'd held inside. _

_But even I couldn't deny how much it hurt to do that. How much it hurt to say those things and, for a split second, actually mean them. _

_-_

_I knew he wanted to talk to me. I knew he wanted me to listen. But i was certain there was nothing he had to say that I wanted to hear. No explanation was good enough and no excuse was bearable. This wasn't something I could just forget over night, like losing a key for a caravan, or ordering the wrong food from the diner. This was something that was going to change my whole life for the worse, no matter what the outcome. _

_I watched as he left the hospital, passive and overcome with... anger? hurt? hatred? I wasn't sure. For the first time in my life, I no longer knew Mr. Stewart. He was no longer the person I could read like a book. No longer the person I could trust. No longer the person I knew. In his place was someone I couldn't recognise. I could no longer see his smile and feel safe. No longer be wrapped in his embrace and feel loved. No longer know what he was thinking. _

_-_

_Even sat at Pippa's bedside, watching her breathing, seeing her gentle smile, I couldn't bring myself to forget. I couldn't let myself forgive. I'd been trapped in a sea of hurt, betrayal and anger and I wasn't sure if I could see a rescue in sight. _

_I was aware of the presence as people wondered in and out. Asking how she was. Kissing her forehead in the very spot I would kiss her. Stroking her arm that was wrapped in a bandage to secure a cannula in place. A cannula that in years to come would leave a small scar. A painful reminder of it. _

_-_

_I listened to pleas all night long. From Ric, Cassie... even Colleen. Telling me that there's no way Mr Stewart would have let this happen if he'd known. Telling me that he loved Pippa and I more than anything in this world. Telling me things I already knew. _

_Their words were spinning in my head. Sending me dizzy and making me feel terribly sick. I wanted to say they were right, to say I was over reacting. I wanted to be able to hug him and tell him everything would be OK. But how could I, when I didn't even know that myself? _

_I gently lay my head down on the mattress that carried my whole life. I closed my eyes, my hand still clasped around hers, just so she__'__d know I was there. I ran the movie of my life over in my mind. The happy times, the sad times. The highs. The lows. I tried not to let it get to me that, in every single one of those memories, he__'__d been there. Smiling down at me. Reassurance without actually saying anything. _

_I snapped my eyes open as I felt Pippa's body move. I saw a smile gently appear on her face as she noticed me. I couldn't say anything that would possibly describe how relieved I felt. Instead, i simply wrapped my arms around her and silently thanked god that she was safe. That the Black Cloud had been lifted. _

_I thought back to Mr Stewart, wondering how he'd feel when he heard she was safe. I knew he'd be glad, yet I knew he'd still punish himself. I wondered where he was. Whether he was outside somewhere, under a black cloud. I wanted to be the person responsible for the sun that would replace the cloud, but I wasn't sure I could be. I wasn't sure I could forget something like this. I wasn't sure I would be able to get over it. _

_-_

_I knew it was getting late, but I'd made it clear to the hospital staff that I wouldn't be leaving that night. That I would be there when she woke up and she needed me. Just like he'd promised me numerous times. I wondered if, like him, I would break that promise. Would I go for a coffee and not be there when she woke up? Would I be in the bathroom and not be the first person she saw. Is it really that easy to let down somebody you loved, without meaning to? To want to turn back time if it meant you could do that again, but properly. _

_-_

_Without realising what I was doing, I pulled a photo out of my purse. It was a few years old, faded and tearing at the edges slightly. But you could still see us. Sat beside one another, laughing like there wasn't a care in the world. _

_I tried to ignore the ache I felt staring at the picture, when a soft glow speed through the window, illuminating one half of the picture. The half that held the person I wanted more than anything to be here. The half that held the person I wanted to feel the embrace of. The half that told me, whilst my daughter lay, sleeping but smiling, that everything was going to be OK. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Alf.**

-

_It's been 20 years since I first met her. 20 years. I can still recall that day fresh in my mind. I remember being amused by her. She was looking at me blankly, as though she was afraid in some way. I smiled, letting out a gentle laugh as she finally introduced herself and 'Milco'. From that very moment, I knew Sally Fletcher was someone special. _

-

_I hadn't possibly imagined back then that I would watch her grow up. Watch every emotion as she blossomed from shy young girl to a beautiful, confident woman. Almost like watching and ugly duckling develop into a swan, only this duckling was far from ugly. She was beautiful. Inside and out. It hadn't taken long for me to realise that. I watched as she built a home and a family herself. I watched as she lost the man she loved. And I stayed by her side, hoping that I could provide some comfort when I was certain she needed it the most. I watched as she went through moments that broke her heart. Moments where everything got too much and all she wanted to do was scream. Like the day she watched the family she grew up with leave her, like the day she let go of Flynn. Days like today. _

_-_

_I hadn't intended for any of the events that occurred today to happen. Far from it. I love Sally and little Pippa with all my heart. But I knew that saying I was sorry wasn't going to erase the fact that it had happened. It wasn't going to turn back the clock and change time. It wasn't going to make anything better and things couldn't have been much worse. I was the person that Sally confided in. That she trusted. And now I'd done something that was sure to cost me all the trust she ever had in me. And I only had myself to blame. _

_-_

_I hadn't set out that morning knowing what lay ahead. I had simply volunteered myself for something that I didn't have to think twice about. It wasn't a task. It wasn't a chore that I had been forced to do. It wasn't something I'd felt pressured to do. It was simply something I wanted to do. Because I would do anything for Sally Fletcher. I'd do _anything.

-

_I knew I shouldn't have gotten in that van. I knew that a couple more hours wouldn't do any harm. Not really. Mrs Cronin may have been desperate, but I knew deep down that I shouldn't have gotten in that van. I knew that I was putting Pippa in danger simply by leaving her in the house on her own. I never thought for a second that I would put her in danger for an entirely different reason only a few minutes later. I never thought I was capable of that. But I climbed into the van and I put it into reverse. I pressed my foot onto the pedal and everything that followed seemed to happen in slow motion. I heard the thud as it happened. I heard the scream coming from the woman I knew all too well. I knew I'd done something unforgivable. _

_-_

_I avoided the hospital for a while after the accident. I knew that me being there was more likely to cause more tension than it was going to help. So instead I sat on the Blaxland, my mind replaying that moment over in my head. Re hearing those screams. Seeing that look on her face. The one that told me I had betrayed her in the worse possible way, and that she would never forgive me for it. _

_-_

_I hadn't intended to end up at the hospital at that moment. I wasn't entirely sure how I had. I wanted to apologise and for some stupid reason, I thought that was the right moment. But as I approached her and watched as she looked up at me that I had not only put her daughters life at risk, I'd also jeopardised our relationship. 18 years of friendship. And I knew I would never forgive myself for that. _

_I was aware of all eyes on me; Ric, Cassie, Dan, Leah... Sally. She had a look in her eye so full of... hatred. I'd never seen that before. In all the years I'd known her, she'd been so lovable and calm. I was the one more likely to get angry. yet here we were and it was as though the roles had been reversed. This wasn't me punishing her for something stupid, this was her punishing me for doing something stupid, something that I couldn't take back. No matter how many times I said I was sorry. Sorry was just a word. _

_I flinched slightly as she yelled at me. Screamed at me in a way I never thought possible. I saw a look in her eyes as she said the dreadful things she had. They were so cold and dark that I wondered if she'd truly meant those words she was saying. Wondered if she hated me that much. _

_I stood weak and scared. Scared for Pippa. Scared for Sally. Scared for our friendship. She looked at me as though she didn't know me. As though she actually hated me. I wondered exactly what she was seeing. Was she visualising me as some kind of monster? The kind of monsters that she used to fear were hiding under her bed at night, and then drift off to sleep soundly after reassurance that there was nothing there. _

_-_

_I went home that night feeling weak and defeated. I'd wanted to stay at the hospital, and I would have done all night long, had it not been for Ric telling me to go home. Telling me that there was nothing I could do and that I simply needed to give Sally time. Time for what? I wondered. Time to watch her little girl fight for her life? Time to hate me even more than she already did? Time to remind herself that I was no longer the man she knew. That she may never be ale to trust me again. _

_-_

_I sat up all night long on the blaxland. Watching the sun slowly set and rise as the night and day dawned. I wondered how that happened. How the sky could go from being a terrifying dark shadow to gently lifting into a light, breezy sun. Like watching as a smile appeared on someone's lips. Like watching as Pippa woke up in hospital. I heard from Ric not long after that she'd woken up and was asking for me, but I still couldn't bring myself to go to the hospital. I couldn't bring myself to look Sally in the eyes and ask for her forgiveness. Not when I would never forgive myself for this. _

_-_

_So I stayed away. Just as I thought she wanted. Just as I thought she needed. I listened to people pleading with me to try and fix it. I listened as they told me that Sally would 'come around' eventually. As though it was that simple. As though it had always been that simple. And I wondered if they knew how it felt to hurt the one person you loved more than anything in the world. I ignored what they had to say and hid myself away from them, and the rest of the world. Just as Sally wanted me to. I'd done it because I knew that I would never be able to regain her trust like she once held, but I knew that if I did as she'd asked me to, she might just realise that I would do anything for her. _

_So I sat and watched as day drifted back into night. I watched as the clear blue sky turned back into a shadow of black cast over my whole life. And I wondered just how long it did actually take for the black cloud to turn back into a bright sun. And I kept on watching, willing to wait as long as it took. _


End file.
